Introducing ZARAKI STRENGTH hairwax
by closedofHeart
Summary: Thought i might try something different and this was the result.A humour filck telling you the secrets of Zaraki Kenpachi's hairwax, contains slight Ikkaku and Mayuri bashing if you look. There's also a challenge involve.


**Introducing ZARAKI STRENGTH hair wax!**

**Tired of having to do your hair in your unique badass style everyday?**

**Wishing you have a matt finish that does not create a distinctive shiny gloss of wax?**

**Wishing you had such a high strength of styling that even a four-armed villain with four badass sickles cannot defeat?**

**Then this is the wax for you**!.

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The **ZARAKI STRENGTH** wax is rated five out of five stars for strength of styling, while it has zero out of five stars for shine, giving you a nice badass look without your hair appearing all sparkly.

**ZARAKI STRENGTH** wax also comes in many fragrances like Citrus and honey.

We **do not** recommend the honey.

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**How to use**:

**Step (1)-**Take small amount into your palms and spread it well into palms, feel free to gloop it all in your hand for maximum effectiveness but take note that our product comes in a bigass keg if you bought the economy version.

We will not be responsible if you look like Mayuri with his horn mask on.

**Step (2)-** Apply as much as you can into your hair dividing your hair equally into spikes and add the finishing touches on the ends to make as pointy as possible with a little hook at the end for the bells.

**Step (3)-** Add the bells at the tip, using whatever method you have at your disposal to make them stay there, as for what bells you want to put in your hair, we recommend the small ones you see on wind chimes instead of church bells.

But one second thought we have never seen someone doing that so please feel free to do it so we can laugh at you**…..loudly**.

**Please take note**: The people at the twelve division recommended that you do not put too much at once to avoid uneven distribution and apply in small amounts otherwise there will be trouble, but we at ten division say _'bring it on!'_

**Caution: If anything weird occurs like you growing an extra head and stuff from this product consult Unohana taichou, if you got something pansy like a rash….either take it like a man or consult a wat-yah-callit…a dem…mo…whatever! Go consult Ichigo the substitute shinigami in the real world, he's the expert**!

**Double caution(by yumichika)**: Don't do this in front of Ikkaku, he's rather sensitive, but that's to be expected when compared to my beauty.

**Triple caution(twelveth division**): We believe this is the product that cause Ikkaku to lose his hair, we have no idea how Zaraki taichou alone can use it.

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**Ingredients:**

Water

Microcrystalline wax (inserted by twelfth Divsion)

Beeswax

Mineral Oil

Some sort of Acid

Maybe cement.

Honey?

A bit of blood…okay lots of it

Yumichika's weird antenna thing (now you know why there is blood….)

Okay we admit to adding a few things from Mayuri's lab……

Why are we putting all this on paper???!

Oh yeah Unohana made us after that incident…..

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**Created by Twelfth Division **

**Abused by Ten Division.**

**Seitretei, court of pure souls.**

**MADE IN SOUL SOCIETY**

Also feel free to try out our other Captain ranked hair products like **HITSUGAYA TOUSHIRO STRENGTH** concrete or **KUCHIKI BYAKUYA STYLE** hair gel

**Product weight**:

Depends on what you buy, normal or gravity defying.

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Short and simple, tell me what you guys think!

Also i want to put this as a challenge, there are many characters in numerous animes with badass or gravity defying hair, send me a Pm or a review when you wrote your own.

Thanks for reading!


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